Fantasy Leagues

It’s amazing how we Americans can take something very simple, contort it ten different ways, and make it new and fascinating.  Take football, for example.  You had the forward pass, followed by the spread, then the West Coast offense.  On defense, you went from the 4-3, to the 3-4 to the Cover 2, to whatever Bill Belichik could dream up next.

Not only did play improve, but safety did, too.  Cloth helmets gave way to real helmets with face guards.  Pads were introduced.  Then we added penalities to regulate the game and protect the players.

Not only are things more interesting for the athletes, but fans have devised new and more exciting ways to watch the game as well.  If we go to the game, we tailgate, and maybe end up at the bar afterwards.   At home, we have the huge plasma screen, and entertain our friends for twenty-something consecutive Sundays as though we could afford to party all the time.

Even the geeks have found ways to improve their participation and enjoyment in the game.  First, it was Strat-o-Matic, then fantasy leagues.  We not only followed our favorite team, but found reasons to follow the other thirty-one teams regardless of how good or bad they were.  We hold mock drafts.  We trade up and down in the draft.  We even join a second or third fantasy league if we can’t get enough.

Thanks to Roger Goodell and Jim Irsay, however, we’ve come to realize that one more component needs to be added to this fantasy league bonanza.  We missed it all this time.  Why?  Because we were selfish.  We wanted OUR team to win.  We wanted OUR players to do well.  We wanted to win our fantasy league championship.

How self-centered of us?  We were missing out on the most important part of professional football.

What is that, you say?

Political affiliation.

Yep, that’s right.  Starting next year, YoHoo Sports is upgrading its fantasy football leagues to include a “political beliefs” factor for each player.  Within each fantasy league, this “political beliefs” factor will be multiplied to a player’s (individual stats) or team’s (defense) fantasy stats to determine the true points earned by each fantasy team.  Say you have Big Ben on your team, and say he is conservative.  His political beliefs factor may read .2, meaning each point he earns during the game is only worth .2 the total points.  On the other hand, Chad Ochocinco’s 1.8 rating (highly liberal) would earn him more game points.

It’s a risk some fantasy team owners may be willing to take.  Sure, it makes it difficult for owners to select conservative players, but that’s not a problem.  As the fantasy league market starts to make an impact on the pro football level, owners and GM’s will quickly learn that it is wise for them not to select conservative athletes for their teams at all.  Everybody wins – the fans, the league, and the owners.  Everybody, of course, except for the exceptional conservative athletes.

An Open Letter to Randy Lerner

Mr. Lerner,

I know this past football season for the Cleveland Browns was a disappointing one, not only for us fans, but for you as well.  The thought of starting over again – for the fourth time since the Browns were reborn, correct? – must be heartbreaking for you.  I know you love the city and the team.

I, as a forty-something year old who spent all but three years of his life in Cleveland, and spent his entire life rooting for the Browns, promise you that I will hold the home team in the highest regard.  No matter how well or disappointing they perform, no matter how disorganized or finely tuned the team and organization are, I will root for the home team.

Unfortunately, I do not believe the same can be said for my seven-year-old son.  Yes, he roots for the Browns every week.  Yes, he loves to watch the games with me.  Yes, at the start of this past season, he even pulled out his football, and played make-up games between the Browns and their upcoming competitor.

Over the season, though, I could sense things were changing.  The sacks.  The interceptions.  The injuries.  The drops – heaven forbid, the drops!  The penalties – no, not the dumb penalties!  Yes, he saw all of them.  The come from ahead losses  started taking their toll.  He was still happy to root for the Browns on game day, but the other activities started changing.  His imaginary games started pitting the Packers against the Patriots, the Jets against the Bengals, the Broncos against the Giants.  No longer did I hear him mention the names Braylon Edwards or Derek Anderson.    No longer did he talk about how good a kicker Phil Dawson was.

Then the playoffs started.

Before every game, regardless who was playing, I’d ask my son who he wanted to win.  He would tell me.  But I noticed one nagging issue with his selection.  He was always picking the Steelers.

The Steelers.

I hate the Steelers.  My wife of seventeen years, who could care less about football, hates the Steelers.  My eleven-year-old daughter, lovely and genteel as she is, hates the Steelers.

The boy who gets totally engrossed in football at the college and pro levels, the one who would actually buy sports merchandise and attend games if he could afford it, rooted continually and consistently for the Steelers.

The Steelers.

It’s not as though he has been a Browns fan his entire adult life.  I survived the bad early 70s, Red Right 88, The Drive, The Fumble, The Belichick, The Move, The Return, etc.   I remember Turkey Jones dumping Terry Bradshaw on his head.  I bleed brown and orange during football season.  I can take it like a man.  My son doesn’t know about the Butch Davis era, much less the Schottenheimer era.  He doesn’t care about Forrest Gregg, Blanton Collier or anyone else.

What does he know?

“I like the Steelers.”

Why?

“Because I like Ben Roethlisberger.”

Why?

“Because he’s a good quarterback.”

After testing him week after week just to see if his answer would change – and I tested him every other day, not just when he was watching the football games – and hearing the same exact answers every time, I realized what he meant.

Ben Roethlisberger knows how to win, and does what it takes to win.  He is positively reckless, just like Hines Ward and Troy Polamalu.

Granted, my son does not yet realize that it takes a team of talented, focused individuals to work together for Roethlisberger to succeed the way he does.  All he knows is that, no matter what the situation, good things are bound to happen when #7 has the ball.

After the Super Bowl, I asked him who his favorite team was.  He faithfully said, “The Cleveland Browns.”  To which I say, you’ve learned well, my son.  However, I realize that it is only lip service to appease his father.  If he had the money, he would be buying #7 jerseys and football cards, and being “Ben” during his imaginary games.

To my son, who I want to be a Browns fan, he has no fond memories of playoff runs or playoff fever.  He only knows one team has trouble getting it all together, and the other just keeps trotting out successful year after successful year.

Please, Mr. Lerner, organize your team for on-field success.  Pick up a couple of those positively reckless players.  Otherwise, my son and all the others like him that do not know the tradition and winning history of Cleveland Browns football won’t care when the opportunity strikes.

Sincerely,
Rick

It’s Called “The Super Bowl”

The NFL playoffs started last week, starting the progressive elimination of teams until only two remain to play in “the big game”.

The big game.

Doesn’t sound right to say it that way, does it?  But that is the way you have to say it, if you are advertising your wares and have not bought into the official licensing agreement of the NFL to use the term “Super Bowl”.  So let me, on behalf of all those companies and advertisers that could receive a boost from sales but refuse to pay licensing fees to the NFL, say something:

SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL
SUPER BOWL

The NFL makes enough money, you’d think they could use some of their goodwill to help companies instead of taking more money from them.  NFL:  You are my idiots of the week.

To the NFL

The NFL is not the only winner of the award this week.  No, I have a winner from last week, too, but did not have time to post.   The title of this version of the award is “How Not to Show Your Impartiality”.  Tell me if you’ve heard this one:

A media outlet that has a reputation for leaning right, but occasionally conducts on air conversations with an acerbic liberal writer, schedules another TV segment with this writer.  The station knows the writer has a book to promote, and they have no problem scheduling the writer, who will increase ratings, cause additional dialog and keep their station in the news for a couple days, if not for a full week.

The author’s latest book, though, points out some glaring biases in this station’s programming and coverage of the recent election cycle.  Realizing what this could mean to the station, and how they have a reputation to uphold with their viewers, permanently cancel the interview, and replace the author with one of the most vitriolic, right-wing on air personalities.  Because, of course, the best way for this station to disprove its right-wing bias is to cancel a scheduled appointment of the liberal author and replace the author with someone even more right-wing than the media outlet’s reputation.

Right?

Oh, one more thing.  The story is actually reversed: it was a left-leaning outlet that did this to an acerbic right-wing author.  You can read about it here.  Great job, NBC in general and the Today Show in particular.  Way to show your impartiality.  You win last week’s IOTW award:

Good job, NBC

It really is a good thing that the Fairness Doctrine would fix these kinds of issues across the media.  Oh, it doesn’t affect television, only radio?  How shocking!

The Season For Change

Ages ago, I wrote this post about my relationship with my ISP (internet service provider).  Some how, some way, the relationship lasted an additional two years.  There have been cycles where I’ve called their customer support and talked to “Bob”, or “Nick”, or “Joe”, even when their accent says their name is really Sundeep or Anup.  The customer support is always the same: check the modem, check the router, reset the modem – “well, what did you change?” – retry the modem, THEN submit a ticket for support and have the problem cleaned up for anywhere from a couple weeks to several months.

We are at that stage again.  If I were to be diligent – which I’m not in this case – I could likely tie each degradation in service to major equipment upgrades.  However, the equipment upgrades did not upgrade my response times (digitally or verbally) or improve my internet service.

So, I called them again yesterday because the service STUNK again.  My wife has been re-setting the modem twice a day for the past week.  Not good, especially during Christmas.  I got in touch with Urai, who told me to reset my modem, try again, blah, blah, blah.  When that didn’t work, I asked him for a new modem.  I could get one, but only if I made a twelve month commitment to the ISP.  Fat chance.  Or, I could buy the modem for a mere $80.    Nah, free works for me, please.

The level 1 support rep could not help me.  Hence, I gently reminded him about the 3-4 tickets I submitted about similar issues over the past two-plus years, and indicated that I will be leaving the service in the amount of time it takes to find a new one.  We are purposely TV-challenged at home, and don’t want cable or satellite, so finding another ISP seemed to me to be a daunting task.  Mostly because I have to change our e-mail address at all the stinkin’ places we do stuff online and with family and friends.

At that point, Urai decided I should talk to his manager, “Nick”.  The dude didn’t help, but definitely sounded distressed each of the times he called back and I was still having problems.  Things seem to be okay now; however, because of word that the ISP is changing their service practices with their residential customers, and the fact my family does way too much online to deal with, we started the conversion to generic e-mail and away from ISP-based e-mail in preparation for us going elsewhere.  Wish us luck!

Earthlink, you are my Idiots of the Week.  You should have won this award many times over.

But wait, there’s more…I’m in the giving mood, being this is the Christmas season and all.

It’s snowing where I live.  No problem there.  People are scraping the snow and ice off their windows.  No problem there, either; a driver gots to do what a driver gots to do.  Something I saw on Sunday morning took the cake.  The driver of a sedan scraped the driver side half of their rear window.  Yep, tried driving like that.  Nothing like adding to his blind side, or making his rear view mirror pretty much useless.  Dude!  You are my runner up.  Congrats!  Next time, maybe you can take the extra 45 seconds and scrape the other side of the window, too.

And last, but not least…the sports team that played in front of 72,000 brown and orange seats – half of them brown because of the jerseys and jackets of their supporters, and half of them orange because no one sat in them – the Cleveland Browns are my third place winners.  They managed to take a city that supports football in good seasons and in bad, and turn its fans apathetic.  Way to go!

On a serious and sincere note:  Merry Christmas everyone!

Schooled!

This is the tale of two head coaches.  One, the coach of a winless team; the other, the coach of a one-win team.  Both teams are brutally bad for varying reasons, as judged by on-field performance.  With that, one has leadership that makes decisions that undermine their head coach’s philosophy; the other has leadership that publicly supports their head coach.

One had their bye week. The other played this past Sunday, and lost.

So, which is which?  And why is this relevant to the blog?

One of those two leadership groups is winner of this week’s Idiot of the Week.

It must be the leadership of the winless team.

Nope.  Try again.

Of the one-win team?

You are the master of the obvious.  Good job.

But why?

I’m getting there.  But it definitely has to do with the team that played yesterday.  Our winless team had an excellent opportunity to beat their opponent.  Ultimately, it didn’t happen, but I learned a lot about the head coach.  And, by contrast, I learned a lot – or shall I say my thoughts were confirmed – about the one-loss coach.

This winless team had just scored a touchdown to bring them within three points of tying the game or taking the lead in the fourth quarter.  To everyone’s surprise, including the announcers and the opponent, this winless team kicked on onside kick and successfully recovered it.  They were fifty-five yards away from the end zone, and about thirty yards away from attempting a game-tying field goal.

The team did not score, and ultimately lost the game.  However, their head coach took a chance.  He didn’t play to lose.  He didn’t play for respectability.  He played to win.  Even though his leadership undermined his principles earlier in the season.  Even though he has malcontents and show-offs playing for him.

By contrast, the other head coach plays to, well, I don’t know what he plays for.  The love of the game, maybe?  Certainly not to win.  I often doubt it’s even to be respected.  Most often it seems that he play to make it through all sixty grueling minutes.  If his team wins, it’s a good day.  If they lose, well, um, then that’s just the way it is and we have to get better.

Stop teasing.  Tell me which teams you are discussing!

Fine!  Be that way!

The winless team: the Cincinnati Bengals.  With goofball ownership and a coach who may not be a good coach (Marvin Lewis), but at least he plays to win.

The one-win team: the Cleveland Browns.  With ownership that supports their head coach (Romeo Crennel), and even extended his contract after last season, the coach does not know how to play to win.  It’s a mentality thing, you know, and Crennel just doesn’t have it.

And for that, and because of the contract extension, Cleveland Browns leadership gets the Idiot of the Week award.  Congratulations, at least you’ll win something this year.  And by the way, how’s that Steelers rivalry thing going for you?