Could It Be…

It’s a story so odd and so contrived, not even the Church Lady could make it up.

Or…could she?

Let’s start here:  Let’s say you are Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  You are devout in your religion.  You follow the precepts, and study the book, whichever one it might be.  You do your best to follow the tenets of your religion.  Nothing could take you away from your faith.

If that is true, then you know who your ultimate enemy is:  Satan.  Forget about the earthly battles you choose to fight for now, and focus on the spiritual realm.  Satan is your ultimate enemy.   Never, no, not once, would you ever consider saying anything good about Satan.   The reasons would be obvious, right?  Could you imagine walking into your Bible Study class and sincerely saying something like, “well, because of him, we are enlightened.”  No, I don’t think so.   You would be giving credibility to him, making him possibly seem like an okay guy.  He’s not, but that does not matter.

You would do nothing to give the impression that the father of lies is acceptable.  He’s not cool, dreamy, hot (ha!), or anything else like that.  He is the enemy.  He must be, well, demonized.

Before you blurt, “Obviously!”, let me take this to the next level:

If you are conservative, then you are Satan.

No, seriously.

Right now, you are either cussing at your screen, or at me, or at the parents who gave birth to me.  Hear me out.

Just like the Jews, Muslims and Christians all recognize Satan as their ultimate enemy, and thus would never have anything good to say about him, liberals and their followers have politics as their religion, and must have an ultimate enemy.  If you are conservative, then congratulations, you are it.  Therefore, you are Satan.

This has nothing to do with being a follower of the evil one.  This has everything to do with how you are treated by the liberal establishment.  Because of the left’s effective use of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, you, as a conservative, will never, ever have anything nice said about you.  There will never be an opportunity to be told that you are wise, that your ideas are good, that you are thoughtful, or that you even look good.  If they did, it would make their followers believe that you have some redeeming qualities, that you are not the doofus they’d been led to believe.  And that you might – just might – have some beliefs worth hearing.  The left cannot have that, because their ideas won’t stand when put to the test.

Hence, the left has only one option, and that’s to make sure you, as a conservative, are the most vile, repulsive person known to man.  The person who no one wants to associate with.  The one who destroys all that is good in this world.  You are Satan.

Naah, not even the Church Lady would go that far…would she?

Enough About the Little Christian Boy

Everyone in the media is making much ado about nothing. Some athlete is rebelling against everything that the modern “superstar” is supposed to embody. And people are upset about it. He drinks. He uses drugs. He parties all the time with his “homies” and takes the Hos back to his crib. He stays out all hours of the night, and the internet is full of pictures of him flaunting his manliness.

And if that’s not bad enough, he takes it one step further…he agrees to promote this lifestyle on a commercial to be debuted during the Super Bowl. Talk about the audacity of this guy. And you say he’s only a kid? He’s not even a pro yet? That takes chutzpaph! I don’t blame the media and women’s groups for going off on him. The people ought to know about this, so they do their best not to cross his path. Talk about someone from the dregs of socie…

…I’m sorry…what are you saying?

You’re saying that I got it all backwards? Really?

So this guy is not an idiot? He stands up for his beliefs? He is conservative, life respecting, God fearing, and people loving? He doesn’t disrespect those around him, even when they believe differently than he does? He doesn’t try to make every last dollar that he can? He’s not looking for the next big party?

I guess he is a rebel after all. Guess it can’t be long before the Obama administration tries to ban him from the NFL.

Take It Out and Shoot It

• Lawyer: “When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?”
• Other Lawyer: “Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.”

After trying to keep tabs on the ultimate three ring circus currently taking place in Copenhagen, I cannot think of anything that is a bigger waste of time, money, and idiots than the Global Warming scummit. Ponzi schemers everywhere are livid that they weren’t as thoughtful as Al Gore and his band of brothers at the IPCC and UN.

These guys can’t keep their own stuff straight, let alone try to reason with the honest skeptics. It’s kind of like talking to Reverend Jim.

Is there some honesty in the AGW argument? There might be. Can they express it while logically (not emotionally) refuting the skeptics? Obviously not. It’s like watching your children try to cover for a lie, realize they are caught, then build another lie on top of it.

The whole bunch of them should be taken out and shot. If not for lies, extortion, and slander, then for flat-out incompetence.

FWIW, this post is being categorized under “Religion” – because AGW is – and under “Science” – even though it’s not.

Freedom of Speech on a College Campus

IOTW candidate #3, week of 2/16/2009

The title sounds like a painting more than a blog post. But this next candidate is a “professor” at a college. It’s a good thing he is open minded, tolerant, and accepting of other person’s viewpoints, just like he probably preaches to his students.

Of course, the story was reported by the media, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is true any more.  I could turn around just as easily and nominate the plaintiff if he is found to be, um, “less than honest”.

Basket Case

“Do you have the time, to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?”

- Green Day, Basket Case

If you have been here to see how this all began, you saw that I originally put all my Idiot eggs in one basket: sports. But as I learned from business owners and financial advisers, it is best to diversify.

So why not practice that here? Granted, there are more than enough goofballs in sports – athletes, managers, owners, spastic fans, you name it – but why not start out with a…

BANG!

How about we diversify right off the bat, shall we? Here is this week’s list of nominees.

First:

Nominated by Marie: United Airlines!

She states:

Did you know it takes two days and a total of about 80 minutes on the telephone, with four different people to find out: 1. Does my son need a car seat on the plane? and 2. Can I gate check a car seat?

It took two days because the first call, the first day, I was told I would have to check my son because if he was more than 45 linear inches he could not go in the overhead compartment. Huh? Does anyone there speak English?

The second day they confirmed for me my son does not need a car seat on the plane. However, he will need one in the car in our destination city. So, can I gate check the car seat? Believe it or not, I don’t keep the year of manufacture, location of manufacture, and weight of the car seat handy. I got the feeling I really inconvenienced them.

Comments: Precious, simply precious. But not a revelation, by any stretch of the imagination. The Untied site (and, no, that’s not a mistype) has been around for years, detailing various flavors of United incompetence. You can add ‘gate checking a child’ to that list.

Second:

Oh, how I hate to do this to a religious organization. Wait, maybe I don’t.

I am submitting this one on behalf of a family friend who about to no longer be a missionary to Burkina Faso and Togo, Africa.

(Togo is the skinny, purple nation below Burkina Faso.)

So what happened?

The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod (LCMS), in the middle of a HUUUUUGGGGGGE push to increase its ministry via talking up Jesus, church growth practices and a massive ad campaign, is pulling its called and ordained minister out of the aforementioned African countries. Due to what? “Programmatic and business decisions.” Yep, that’s the official line. Never mind that said organization is attempting to raise $100 million for ministry; this missionary needed to raise his own funds to survive out there, and was required to raise more than double what he, his pregnant wife and four children needed to survive. But also, as he says:

The decision leaves three newly planted churches in Burkina Faso without a theologically trained leader and also the Lutheran Church of Togo without a missionary which they had been awaiting for six years.

Oh well. Religion would be great if it weren’t run by people.

Third:

From the “that’s not how you boycott a business” files:

If you followed the Cavs/Wizards playoff series, you heard the whole “LeBron James is a crybaby” thing. A Washington D.C. Papa John’s franchise made shirts calling LeBron James a crybaby, and got some good press out of it. Cavs nation – all 25,000 of them – got upset. They got angry! They were miffed!

“We’re fed up, and we’re not gonna take it any more!”

“Let’s riot!”

“Let’s burn down some buildings!”

“Let’s elect another Democrat as mayor to continue destroying the city!”

“Naah, that’s been done already. How about we boycott Papa John’s!”

“Wow, what a novel idea! It worked for Jessie Jackson and Operation Push. Look at how much money he bilked from companies, and how weak-kneed he made them. We’ll bring Papa John’s to its knees!!!”

What a concept? It could almost work…until Papa Johns said they were sorry and offered 23-cent pizzas last Thursday.

Boycott over! Let the pizza buying frenzy begin!

At least Papa John’s remembered they had a national franchise, and did what was best for the enterprise. Several of the local franchises ran out of pizza at the start of the dinner rush, which had really been a rush since 11:30am. Good job, Papa John’s! Bad job, Cleveland sports fans! So much for that boycott.

Let’s see how the judges ranked the competitors:

Win: The Clevelanders who turned a “boycott” into a PR victory for Papa John’s.

Place: The LCMS, who are now in the throes of another PR loss.

Show: United Airlines, cuz “that’s how they roll”.

Congratulations, Idiots!