Fantasy Leagues

It’s amazing how we Americans can take something very simple, contort it ten different ways, and make it new and fascinating.  Take football, for example.  You had the forward pass, followed by the spread, then the West Coast offense.  On defense, you went from the 4-3, to the 3-4 to the Cover 2, to whatever Bill Belichik could dream up next.

Not only did play improve, but safety did, too.  Cloth helmets gave way to real helmets with face guards.  Pads were introduced.  Then we added penalities to regulate the game and protect the players.

Not only are things more interesting for the athletes, but fans have devised new and more exciting ways to watch the game as well.  If we go to the game, we tailgate, and maybe end up at the bar afterwards.   At home, we have the huge plasma screen, and entertain our friends for twenty-something consecutive Sundays as though we could afford to party all the time.

Even the geeks have found ways to improve their participation and enjoyment in the game.  First, it was Strat-o-Matic, then fantasy leagues.  We not only followed our favorite team, but found reasons to follow the other thirty-one teams regardless of how good or bad they were.  We hold mock drafts.  We trade up and down in the draft.  We even join a second or third fantasy league if we can’t get enough.

Thanks to Roger Goodell and Jim Irsay, however, we’ve come to realize that one more component needs to be added to this fantasy league bonanza.  We missed it all this time.  Why?  Because we were selfish.  We wanted OUR team to win.  We wanted OUR players to do well.  We wanted to win our fantasy league championship.

How self-centered of us?  We were missing out on the most important part of professional football.

What is that, you say?

Political affiliation.

Yep, that’s right.  Starting next year, YoHoo Sports is upgrading its fantasy football leagues to include a “political beliefs” factor for each player.  Within each fantasy league, this “political beliefs” factor will be multiplied to a player’s (individual stats) or team’s (defense) fantasy stats to determine the true points earned by each fantasy team.  Say you have Big Ben on your team, and say he is conservative.  His political beliefs factor may read .2, meaning each point he earns during the game is only worth .2 the total points.  On the other hand, Chad Ochocinco’s 1.8 rating (highly liberal) would earn him more game points.

It’s a risk some fantasy team owners may be willing to take.  Sure, it makes it difficult for owners to select conservative players, but that’s not a problem.  As the fantasy league market starts to make an impact on the pro football level, owners and GM’s will quickly learn that it is wise for them not to select conservative athletes for their teams at all.  Everybody wins – the fans, the league, and the owners.  Everybody, of course, except for the exceptional conservative athletes.

This Ain’t No Disco

This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco
- Life During Wartime, Talking Heads

In my ongoing attempts to locate and call out idiots of all races, creeds, colors and political persuasions, I strive to avoid the super-obvious candidates for Idiot of the Week.  Some times, though, like this week, the super-obvious was too significant to avoid.

Thank you to everyone who has been a first-time visitor over the last couple weeks.   If you haven’t seen the “About” page, we present the Idiot of the Week award (mostly) once per week, some time over the weekend or Monday night.  We take nominations from all walks of life.

Feel free to nominate your candidates for Idiot of the Week.  Your candidates can come from anywhere: politics, sports, religion, media, business, and even some local doofus who should have his fifteen minutes of fame.  Like this guy that cut down trees on Earth Day.

This is not a political site, although political rants may rear their ugly head when appropriate.  However, folks like A-Rod, Barry Bonds, Sean Penn, Madonna and lesser-known equivalents deserve their day in the sun, too.  After all, politicians aren’t the only idiots.

Help us root them out.

Thanks.