Stay Classy!

If you haven’t heard about the Miss America non-fiasco yet, read here.   If you want to read about intolerance masked as politically-correct groupthink, read here.

Between the question, which may or may not have been planted, the manufactured disdain at the contestant’s honest answer, and the retracted apology of the idiot whose name I won’t even mention (or use in my tags), I am flabbergasted.

Okay,  not really.  Of course you could see this coming.  That is, if you looked at the situation objectively, without the lens of political correctness.

You see, it’s no longer about being the “most qualified”, even if this was a beauty pageant.  It’s now the most qualified politically appropriate candidate that wins.

Don’t believe me?  Would Green Day’s American Idiot project been released had a Democrat been President?  Would they have even produced the project?  How about The Offspring’s Hammerhead?  Why wouldn’t some media outlets even review An American Carol?  Was it not a movie?  Were these not movie critics?  But they’d review Hairspray, and Harold and Kumar act like idiots…again, and any other mush-for-brains movie that came along.

The definition for “qualified” has changed.  Politics infiltrates everything.  It infiltrates religion, which can only bring religion down.  It infiltrates academia, and turns academia into the biggest intellectual joke this side of – um, er, the Potomac.  It infiltrates entertainment, because that’s the only way anyone will pay attention to it.

So an honest girl gives an honest answer and stands up for what she believes.  Sounds like a true American to me.  And she didn’t back down, much like Barry O backs down to each third world dictator.  Good for her.  Bad for the media for forgetting that the First Amendment applies to everyone.  Way to stay classy, idiots!

Light Headed

Since Kelly Clarkson’s American Idol appearance last Wednesday, this blog has been read over 300 times by people searching on some term using her name followed by either “fat”, “skinny” or “chunky”.  Note that this does not include the hits taken for the same on Carrie Underwood.  In all, this site had over 350 hits in four days because people were obsessed with other people’s weight.

Don’t these guys have anything better to do?  Obama is a train wreck, 401k plans have become 201k accounts, and Nance Pelosi wants to give authority over your kids to the U.N.  And these guys are worried about the weight of our singers.  You, my friends, are the idiot of the week.

The award, by the way, is very light.  Which pretty much matches your brain power.

What Can Tags Do For You?

The internet never ceases to amaze me. Why? It’s not because of all the good stuff you can do with the technology. It’s also because of all the bad stuff you can do with technology. See, the internet is merely the tool. The internet doesn’t kill people…people kill people. (When will we need a license to carry wi fi? Oh, never mind.)

What amazes me about the internet is how many freaks are out there. No, I’m not talking about your run of the mill sicko. There are plenty of those types out there, and should have the light shone on them whenever possible.

I’m talking about the wanna-be paparazzi, those who can’t get enough of the “style” page in the NYT or anywhere else. Rome is burning, and these folks just have to find out what’s going on with Lindsay Lohan. I don’t get it.

Actually, I do get it. I posted this entry as one of the first topics of this blog. Who would have thought – and I realize that I’m setting myself up for it again – that the search term “Kelly Clarkson Fat” or some derivative thereof would get this site at least ten visits per day. After her Idol performance last night, that ballooned – no pun intended – to over one hundred hits.

Kids…and adults…get a life! Who cares if you think she’s fat or skinny. Once you get away from Anorexia Heaven (a.k.a. Hollywood) and start living in reality, you’ll notice that her build is no different from the common female…the ones who don’t spend – er, I mean waste – thousands of dollars to look like a beanpole with breasts.

You, too can be human. And you don’t have to find out who is fat or skinny before you enjoy your life. Idiots! You are a candidate for the IOTW award.

Money Pacifies Me

It is true that the Congress found a way to stomp all over states’ rights again with the political stimulation bill that passed last week. Hopefully, a state or two or fifty will file a lawsuit. But then, who could trust the Supreme Court if it got that far, any way.

So instead of including a last minute entry into this week’s IOTW contest, I figured instead I would give it to someone who knows the politicians’ best trick, anyway, which is getting OPM.

This week’s winner is Lucie J. Kim. As much as Oscar the Grouch and Congress deserve it, I’ll give it to Lucie for trying to extort $4 billion from Miley Cyrus.

Grow up, babe.  You may not win $4 billion, but you did win the Idiot of the Week award.

Just keep repeating to yourself:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me

Pity the Suffering Masses

IOTW candidate #2, week of 2/9/2009

Miley Cyrus did something really stupid the other day.  Her friends kind of had a hand in it.  They decided, much like the Spanish Olympic basketball team, to “emulate” those of Asian descent while being photographed.

Was it childish?  Yes.  But Miley & Co. aren’t the nominees.

Lucie J. Kim, the gal who is initiating a $4 billion – yes, BILLION – class action lawsuit against Miley Cyrus is.

Everybody chant along with me:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me.
(Repeat it ’til you believe it)

Instead of being insulted and offended when Obama said I cling to guns and religion, or when Al Franken dissed me for my beliefs, what I should have done was sued them because I’m a thin-skinned ninny.  At least, then, I’d have something to show for my suffering…even if it wasn’t pride or self-respect.

Fascinating!!!

Fascinate me!
Exhilarate me!
Invigorate me!
Captivate me!

Isn’t that how you feel after the latest rounds of politicians throwing semi-true jabs at the opposing political party; entertainers going whole hog for the black democrat male and decrying the white republican female; the media vetting the white republican female100x over yet not vetting the black democrat male – actually hiding his ties to radical socialists; the Christian political establishment acting all, well, like lemmings again; and the incumbents – yes, all of them – blaming everyone but themselves for the years worth of legislation that helped contribute to the ongoing mortgage crisis?

No?!?  What on earth have you been doing then?

It has consumed me, to the extent that my schedule allows me to consumed.  It almost made me forget about all of the following:

• My beloved Cleveland Indians being swept for the weekend – a Saturday double-header and a Sunday game – by the lowly Kansas City Royals.  When does next year start?
• My beloved Ohio State Buckeyes getting slaughtered in another big game, as the same cast of characters that lost their cool and proved themselves too slow in last year’s BCS game – it only takes a handful of them to make a team totally overmatched – did it again.  (But, man, I’d love to have Malcom Jenkins as a starting cornerback on my team!)
• The Cleveland Browns proving themselves absolutely inept.  If you didn’t notice, I did not use the adjective “beloved” to describe this motley crew.

No, I did not say Motley Crue.

It also didn’t make me forget about the Vince Young saga.  This guy was on top of the world at Texas, and in his first year with the Tennessee Titans.  What happened?

That’s easy.  Fans did what they do best.  They called talk shows.  They booed Young.  They ranted on blogs.

And how did Vince Young’s mom take it?  She told the world to leave her son alone.  I wish I had as many people uplifting my self-esteem as Young has had in his many years in sports.  Think of all the money I’d have…and how difficult it would be for me to overcome failure.   This is the American Idol reality, the no-score league aftermath, the patsi-fying of our utes (yes, I said “utes”).

Failure.  It’s not your fault, and the other person really isn’t better than you.  It’s all in your imagination.  You really are special.  No one is as good as you in anything.  And everyone really should bow down to you.

You are special.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask your therapist.

Then try to get a job that promotes based on merit, and get a grip.

That wasn’t too mean now, was it?

Drawn Like a Moth to a Light

Over the past year and a half, I finally got completely dissatisfied with the two big-box political parties. You can read my rants and musings at my old blog.

Let’s just say that I am amused at the, um, “stuff” that is passing for political discourse and politicking these days.

• Oprah, who is all about empowering women, won’t have Governor Sarah Palin on her show until after the presidential election, but had no problem stumping for Senator Barak Obama early in the primaries.
• Obama criticizes Palin’s lack of experience. That’s like the pot calling the kettle, let’s see now, rainbow.
• Women on the left – that is, liberal women – want Palin barefoot and pregnant. That doesn’t sound very progressive, does it?
• Media bias is so evident, even a liberal can notice it. Well, maybe not.

But, wait, there’s more!

• Disenfranchised conservative Republicans are flocking to the PaliMessiah, because she has a conservative background.
• Palin’s views on immigration are not well known. Remember, many conservatives had issues with John McCain because he wasn’t reaching out to his conservative base, and because he was pro-amnesty. So, half the problem still exists – maybe.
• Half of the Republican ticket is now as inexperienced in tenure (heck with the actual job responsibilities, the common American doesn’t care to understand the difference) as the Democratic ticket.

And we’re still roughly sixty days away from the election!

I avoided television and radio coverage of politics as much as I could since the primaries ended. Yet I find myself eerily fascinated by the current bout of lunacy spewed by both parties and their willing accomplices in the media – including the internet pundits.

It’s kind of like seeing that accident scene on the other side of the freeway, and needing to look even though you know you will be repulsed or sad for looking.

Nah, it’s not like that at all. Even though I look at the accident, I still made the choice to look. For me, the current goings on are more like a moth’s instinctive attraction to lights. I am just waiting to get burned. But until then:

• It’s been fun watching kind, peaceful, loving liberals libel and slander a woman. Remember in the olden days, when we were taught not to hit a woman – physically or figuratively? Hillary Clinton’s rival in her Senatorial election lost many brownie points for merely asking her to commit to a position in writing. The nerve of him! Yet it is okay for people to hit the girl (Palin), and subsequently drop-kick her into oblivion. Now, you can’t hit the black guy. I guess he doesn’t have the balls to stand up for himself.

• It’s been wild watching dissatisfied, conservative Republicans – you know, the ones that can’t understand Obama’s cult of personality – deign Palin the dual savior of the conservative movement and the Republican party. They complain that Obama’s mind-numbed robots will do anything he says, much like they would currently do anything for Palin.

• It’s been crazy listening to journalists forget how to recognize sarcasm when it doesn’t work to their benefit.

• It’s been routine watching politicians attack character instead of responding to the valid charges levied against them. After all, what does a community organizer do, and why is that position more relevant to “presidential experience” than Governor is? I still haven’t heard an answer.

• It’s been scary watching and listening to the media identify how someone living in a small town, attending a non-Ivy league college, and trying to raise a relatively normal family is automatically not qualified to run for political office.

• It’s been telling, having the race card played by the black candidate, and the sexism card played by the female VP candidate.

• It’s been weird, listening to the Democrat’s Presidential nominee compare himself to the Republican’s appointed Vice Presidential nominee. Something just doesn’t jive there.

Worst of all, the last two weeks of activity focused the whole political spotlight on the two big-box candidates. You can just about wipe out any chance of third party candidates getting any coverage by the media because they are now irrelevant.

I think I now know how Nero felt as he watched Rome burn.

This week’s Idiot of the Week award is a reverse class action award. It is given to all of the Democrat and Republican Party leadership, the big-box news organizations, the celebrity glitterati, and the internet pundits who are doing their damnedest to curtail independent thought, and turn this Presidential election into another “who do I hate less” competition.

Inflation in the Modern Era

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Is your blog getting the number of daily hits that you expect?

Are you writing great material that is going unnoticed?

Looking for a pick-me-up? A little blog stimulation? Some artificial growth that lasts beyond four hours? You know, Viagra for your blog?

I have the cure, and it doesn’t have all those crazy side-effects. Well, except for the one where you worry about the mindset of the people viewing your site. But, we live in America, and are only concerned with uninhibited growth (ask our mega-churches, truth be damned!) and popularity (ask our politicians, athletes, and entertainers). Substance is irrelevant; growth is king!

We will make this post all about the numbers. Let’s go for the gold! We’ll keep it cheap and dispensable. Follow my lead:

• Pick a topic that is somewhat relevant, such as the mindless viewing and reading habits of the American male. Or the dumbing down of communication of all types – especially in ads and speeches.
• Figure out a way to include the name of a cute, skinny, white female celebrity. But, wait! I want a story with integrity, with meaning, with…with…CONTEXT! So what? Then create a dumb, boring blog that no one reads. Pick celebrities that fit the story, or just put them (Jessica Simpson) where you want. It really (Christina Aguilera) does not matter all that much. Just ask Carrie Underwood. Or Fergie. It’s all about the children (Miley Cyrus), so do what you can! Pink doesn’t count, and neither does Rihanna.
• Rinse and repeat, about as often as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan make the news.

Hey, if politicians can convert meaningless drivel into millions of votes, why can’t name dropping (Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Nastia Luken) work for blogs?

It is inflation that I can believe in.

No skinny white chicks were hurt in the creating of this post.

Rainbow Hole

In order to be all things to all people, let’s just forget color altogether.

Wait a second, you can’t do that.  Black is the absence of all color.

Darn, so much for that.  Okay, then we’ll go with all colors.

Can’t do that, either.  White is the presence of all color.

Okay, I got one on you then.  Let’s diffuse all colors through the prism.  That way, we see each color for what it is on its own: distinct, beautiful, independent.  Forget about the frequencies working together to give us beautiful light.  That’s racist.  See, when things or people work together, they give up their individuality.  We just can’t do that; we must let everyone be themselves.

It’s then in the best interest for us to include color in everything we discuss.  How do we do that without making it look racist?  That’s easy: replace “black” and “white” with “rainbow”.

So, when John Wiley Price, Dallas Commissioner, got offended by the term “black hole“, maybe his counterpart, Kenneth Mayfield, should have called it a “rainbow hole”.

Let me try this in a language John Wiley Price may understand:

Yo, homey.  You ain’t nuthin.  You ain’t keepin’ it real.  Yu’z dissin the crew.  Black hole, dude! It’s a science term.  Know what I’m sayin’?

John Wiley Price, you are the Idiot of the Week.  You’re so dumb, you don’t deserve the prize.

Then there’s Jessie Jackson…too dumb to know a mic was on?  Yeah, right.  How dare Obama declare black – I mean “rainbow” – adults responsible for their actions.  It flies totally in the face of everything Jackson has build for himsel…er, for the repressed people of color.  Jessie, you would also get a lifetime Idiot achievement award if I offered it.

Then there are the folks freaking out teenagers and adults over wealth redistribution – I mean, global warming.

You’re all dumb and manipulative.  None of you deserve the award.  I don’t care if you’re rainbow, rainbow, or rainbow.   Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Lack of Discrimination

Ya gotta love this disposable world of ours.  Don’t like something?  Throw it out, and buy a better replacement.  Tired of following a losing sports team?  Change allegiances to a front-runner?  Can’t afford your house?  Simply walk away.

And then you have Madonna, A-Rod and Christine Brinkley.  Something wrong with your marriage?  The answer is simple: throw it away and try again.  Or simply test the market to see if something better is out there.

I’m not saying that Brinkley’s fourth husband was in the right.  He’s an idiot, too.  It is not my intent to comment on those divorce proceedings.

We have so many choices, so many options, that we stop discerning – discriminating – about the options, and go with the option that looks/feels/sounds/smells the best.  Heck with what’s best in the long term; there is no “long term” any more.  We can merely replace the object or relationship that is no longer to our liking.

Don’t think we’ve lost our ability to discriminate?  Look at our two presidential candidates.  And look at how we “church shop”.  ‘Nuff said.

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Now, on to this week’s topics, which may provide us with our Idiots of the Week:

1. The climate change delusion
2. The hole of a different color
3. The nut job (this one is almost too easy)