Cry Me A River

All must be good in the sports mecca of New York, right?  After all, ESPN and Fox Sports pimp NYC like there’s no tomorrow, and pundits are still holding out hope that LeBron James will become a Knick.  Even when LeBron proclaims a moratorium on free agency questions, NYC papers, radio stations, and TV networks keep him front and center.  After all, he is the soon-to-be savior of the Knicks franchise.  They’ll love seeing him in a Knicks uniform, leading off every Sports Center segment and every NBC playoff promotion.

What they can’t stand is this.  Pity the fools.  What’s good for me is not good for thee.  The focus isn’t on New York, so this sports journalist is going to cry in his Manhattan Iced Tea.  Dude, besides CA and NY, there are forty-eight other states in the union.  Come September, the Yankees and Red Sox will dominate again, and come September through January, it’ll be the Jets, Giants and Patriots.  Okay, maybe not…it’ll probably be Favre again.

Regardless, the sports media focuses on you too much already.  And, by the way, your teams suck.  Welcome to reality.  Idiots.

Could It Be…

It’s a story so odd and so contrived, not even the Church Lady could make it up.

Or…could she?

Let’s start here:  Let’s say you are Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  You are devout in your religion.  You follow the precepts, and study the book, whichever one it might be.  You do your best to follow the tenets of your religion.  Nothing could take you away from your faith.

If that is true, then you know who your ultimate enemy is:  Satan.  Forget about the earthly battles you choose to fight for now, and focus on the spiritual realm.  Satan is your ultimate enemy.   Never, no, not once, would you ever consider saying anything good about Satan.   The reasons would be obvious, right?  Could you imagine walking into your Bible Study class and sincerely saying something like, “well, because of him, we are enlightened.”  No, I don’t think so.   You would be giving credibility to him, making him possibly seem like an okay guy.  He’s not, but that does not matter.

You would do nothing to give the impression that the father of lies is acceptable.  He’s not cool, dreamy, hot (ha!), or anything else like that.  He is the enemy.  He must be, well, demonized.

Before you blurt, “Obviously!”, let me take this to the next level:

If you are conservative, then you are Satan.

No, seriously.

Right now, you are either cussing at your screen, or at me, or at the parents who gave birth to me.  Hear me out.

Just like the Jews, Muslims and Christians all recognize Satan as their ultimate enemy, and thus would never have anything good to say about him, liberals and their followers have politics as their religion, and must have an ultimate enemy.  If you are conservative, then congratulations, you are it.  Therefore, you are Satan.

This has nothing to do with being a follower of the evil one.  This has everything to do with how you are treated by the liberal establishment.  Because of the left’s effective use of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, you, as a conservative, will never, ever have anything nice said about you.  There will never be an opportunity to be told that you are wise, that your ideas are good, that you are thoughtful, or that you even look good.  If they did, it would make their followers believe that you have some redeeming qualities, that you are not the doofus they’d been led to believe.  And that you might – just might – have some beliefs worth hearing.  The left cannot have that, because their ideas won’t stand when put to the test.

Hence, the left has only one option, and that’s to make sure you, as a conservative, are the most vile, repulsive person known to man.  The person who no one wants to associate with.  The one who destroys all that is good in this world.  You are Satan.

Naah, not even the Church Lady would go that far…would she?

Bad Sales Pitch

In sales, you are taught to provide choices to your potential customer.  But not too many choices; get them in a position of choosing between two options.  The psychology says that when presented with two options, most people will select one of the two provided.

Many parents do the same with their kids.  Maybe vegetables aren’t the most desired part of dinner.  So the parents give their child two choices, with one being more tolerable than the other.  The hope is that the child will not think beyond the two choices – even if they are brussell sprouts and spinach – but will choose the less disdained.

Enter the Northeast Media, led by the New York Times and ESPN.  They are trying to play this game with LeBron James.  They talk about the Nets and the Knicks, as though those were LeBron’s only logical choices where to land with his upcoming free agency.  Think about that for a minute:  the Cavs beat the Knicks by thirty tonight, after being up by 49 at one point in time.  And then, the Cavs will play the six-win Nets tomorrow.

Kind of like choosing between broccoli and asparagus.  I think LeBron will choose a better vegetable than that.  Better yet would be for him to go with the sundae with a cherry on top by remaining in Cleveland.

Pity the Poor

Things can be tough some times.  The economy is in shambles.  Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth – or does so, by proxy, through his talking heads – The Dow drops a little more.  With it, the retirement funds of Americans of all levels of wealth also drops.

But, what to do about the nation’s poor?  They are already downtrodden, and Obama is not doing much to help them.  They are having a hard time putting food on the table, let alone paying for medicines and doctor visits.  What is a struggling American to do?  Especially when they are about to learn that their wages are going to be cut significantly.  How do they maintain their meager lifestyle?

To help you understand the mess the Obama Administration is making of these people’s lives, we should identify a poster child.  Someone who exemplifies the issue in a way we can all understand.  Someone who has to struggle for all that they have, and puts a face on the plight of the so-called “little people”.

Here is our poster child:

Poor Katie, representing the “little people” every night on the evening news, is having it really tough.  She found out that her measly salary will likely be cut.  If this blow to her career and lifestyle don’t say “repression by ‘The Man’”, then nothing does.

She is so much like her viewers:  poor, downtrodden, lucky to make ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck, and happy just to have a boob tube to watch at the end of the day.  Pity the poor.  Katie represents them so well.

‘Tis a pity, alright.  Not that her salary will be cut, but that she acts as though she represents the poor.  If she was really for the poor, she’d point out everything that is wrong with the Obama administration instead of living whole hog off the “I hate Republicans” teat.

Katie – you fail!  Idiot.

Enough About the Little Christian Boy

Everyone in the media is making much ado about nothing. Some athlete is rebelling against everything that the modern “superstar” is supposed to embody. And people are upset about it. He drinks. He uses drugs. He parties all the time with his “homies” and takes the Hos back to his crib. He stays out all hours of the night, and the internet is full of pictures of him flaunting his manliness.

And if that’s not bad enough, he takes it one step further…he agrees to promote this lifestyle on a commercial to be debuted during the Super Bowl. Talk about the audacity of this guy. And you say he’s only a kid? He’s not even a pro yet? That takes chutzpaph! I don’t blame the media and women’s groups for going off on him. The people ought to know about this, so they do their best not to cross his path. Talk about someone from the dregs of socie…

…I’m sorry…what are you saying?

You’re saying that I got it all backwards? Really?

So this guy is not an idiot? He stands up for his beliefs? He is conservative, life respecting, God fearing, and people loving? He doesn’t disrespect those around him, even when they believe differently than he does? He doesn’t try to make every last dollar that he can? He’s not looking for the next big party?

I guess he is a rebel after all. Guess it can’t be long before the Obama administration tries to ban him from the NFL.

Playground Ball

I root for the Cleveland Browns. Why? Some times, over the last decade, I could not answer that question for you. The team stunk, looked rudderless, and had no heart. There wee many reasons for a lot of that. Yet, I remained a fan. I watched the games, got my two kids interested in rooting for the home team and against the Steelers – how much better does it get than that? – and stayed loyal.

There have been a few legitimate all-stars on the team in the past year. Joe Thomas for one. Joshua Cribbs for another. And then there’s…um…er…drat! Foiled again! (Yes, other team members made the Pro Bowl, but it was a rarity.) The point wes, talent-wise, the Browns have stunk up the joint.

Is Derek Anderson the right quarterback? Probably not. Is Brady Quinn? I don’t think so. But the Browns leadership hailed each and every quarterback along the way as the savior of the franchise. Put their name in lights. Told us to root for them. Made us make them feel special. But rarely did they step up.

Two years ago, I watched the Browns almost beat the Pittsburgh Steelers. Some undrafted, free-agent dude named Joshua Cribbs lit up the Steelers with two great kick returns. After the game, I told my wife that Cribbs is the guy the Browns should show as the face of the team. He is durable, fearless and relentless. He works at his craft. He always does his best. And for all we know, he doesn’t get in trouble off the field. He’s the anti-prima donna.

Last season (2008), more folks came to appreciate Cribbs’ special talents. While Anderson and Quinn were the horses in the which-QB-can-give-us-less derby, Cribbs stole the fans’ hearts. Who, at the beginning of this season (2009), wouldn’t want to wear, or have their kids wear, a #16 Cleveland Browns jersey?

I still think Cribbs is special. He hates the Steelers. He has the will to win. He energizes his teammates and the fans. He is Cleveland Browns football.

However, this playground game that he and his agent are playing got old quickly. He wants to re-negotiate his contract. Two GM’s have promised to do so. The latest bid is a lowball bid, and I’d be upset if I were him, too. But, to pick up your ball and go home is a terrible mis-step. This is a town that survived Albert Belle, Manny Ramirez, and Jim Thome. Fans tolerated Kellen Winslow, Jr. and Braylon Edwards about as long as they could. And they dealt with bad play on the field.

Joshua, you deserve more. But, don’t act like a crybaby. Act like the leader you have been since you were signed as a free-agent rookie to join the Browns. Be the better man. We’ll respect you for it. Really, we will.

Stay Classy!

If you haven’t heard about the Miss America non-fiasco yet, read here.   If you want to read about intolerance masked as politically-correct groupthink, read here.

Between the question, which may or may not have been planted, the manufactured disdain at the contestant’s honest answer, and the retracted apology of the idiot whose name I won’t even mention (or use in my tags), I am flabbergasted.

Okay,  not really.  Of course you could see this coming.  That is, if you looked at the situation objectively, without the lens of political correctness.

You see, it’s no longer about being the “most qualified”, even if this was a beauty pageant.  It’s now the most qualified politically appropriate candidate that wins.

Don’t believe me?  Would Green Day’s American Idiot project been released had a Democrat been President?  Would they have even produced the project?  How about The Offspring’s Hammerhead?  Why wouldn’t some media outlets even review An American Carol?  Was it not a movie?  Were these not movie critics?  But they’d review Hairspray, and Harold and Kumar act like idiots…again, and any other mush-for-brains movie that came along.

The definition for “qualified” has changed.  Politics infiltrates everything.  It infiltrates religion, which can only bring religion down.  It infiltrates academia, and turns academia into the biggest intellectual joke this side of – um, er, the Potomac.  It infiltrates entertainment, because that’s the only way anyone will pay attention to it.

So an honest girl gives an honest answer and stands up for what she believes.  Sounds like a true American to me.  And she didn’t back down, much like Barry O backs down to each third world dictator.  Good for her.  Bad for the media for forgetting that the First Amendment applies to everyone.  Way to stay classy, idiots!

Light Headed

Since Kelly Clarkson’s American Idol appearance last Wednesday, this blog has been read over 300 times by people searching on some term using her name followed by either “fat”, “skinny” or “chunky”.  Note that this does not include the hits taken for the same on Carrie Underwood.  In all, this site had over 350 hits in four days because people were obsessed with other people’s weight.

Don’t these guys have anything better to do?  Obama is a train wreck, 401k plans have become 201k accounts, and Nance Pelosi wants to give authority over your kids to the U.N.  And these guys are worried about the weight of our singers.  You, my friends, are the idiot of the week.

The award, by the way, is very light.  Which pretty much matches your brain power.

What Can Tags Do For You?

The internet never ceases to amaze me. Why? It’s not because of all the good stuff you can do with the technology. It’s also because of all the bad stuff you can do with technology. See, the internet is merely the tool. The internet doesn’t kill people…people kill people. (When will we need a license to carry wi fi? Oh, never mind.)

What amazes me about the internet is how many freaks are out there. No, I’m not talking about your run of the mill sicko. There are plenty of those types out there, and should have the light shone on them whenever possible.

I’m talking about the wanna-be paparazzi, those who can’t get enough of the “style” page in the NYT or anywhere else. Rome is burning, and these folks just have to find out what’s going on with Lindsay Lohan. I don’t get it.

Actually, I do get it. I posted this entry as one of the first topics of this blog. Who would have thought – and I realize that I’m setting myself up for it again – that the search term “Kelly Clarkson Fat” or some derivative thereof would get this site at least ten visits per day. After her Idol performance last night, that ballooned – no pun intended – to over one hundred hits.

Kids…and adults…get a life! Who cares if you think she’s fat or skinny. Once you get away from Anorexia Heaven (a.k.a. Hollywood) and start living in reality, you’ll notice that her build is no different from the common female…the ones who don’t spend – er, I mean waste – thousands of dollars to look like a beanpole with breasts.

You, too can be human. And you don’t have to find out who is fat or skinny before you enjoy your life. Idiots! You are a candidate for the IOTW award.

Money Pacifies Me

It is true that the Congress found a way to stomp all over states’ rights again with the political stimulation bill that passed last week. Hopefully, a state or two or fifty will file a lawsuit. But then, who could trust the Supreme Court if it got that far, any way.

So instead of including a last minute entry into this week’s IOTW contest, I figured instead I would give it to someone who knows the politicians’ best trick, anyway, which is getting OPM.

This week’s winner is Lucie J. Kim. As much as Oscar the Grouch and Congress deserve it, I’ll give it to Lucie for trying to extort $4 billion from Miley Cyrus.

Grow up, babe.  You may not win $4 billion, but you did win the Idiot of the Week award.

Just keep repeating to yourself:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but money pacifies me