So Much for That Winless Season

I would like to congratulate my Cleveland Browns for somewhat resembling a football team yesterday.  Unfortunately, the whole state of Ohio lost yesterday, as the Browns and the Cincinnati Bengals managed to play a game that barely kept me interested.  I was anticipating the Browns proof that evolution doesn’t exist for football teams, eagerly awaiting them to forget how to manage the clock again.  It didn’t happen.  However, if Carson Palmer could have played for the Bengals, I think the Browns would have been 0-4 this morning.

But he didn’t play; alas, the Browns get their first win.  Pop the corks!

Between Romeo Crennel and Marvin Lewis, the state of Ohio is poorly represented in the head coaching ranks around the NFL.  What, are the leaders of both teams afraid that Barak Obama and the NAACP are going to come after them for firing inadequate coaches because they are black?

Romeo and Marvin share the Idiot of the Week award this week, if only because it’s more palatable than diving into the stupidity of the Legislative and Executive branches of our federal government again.

Just curious: if global warming and evolution are both true, then why can’t polar bears adapt to their environment?  After all, if global warming is true, wouldn’t the polar bear scenario be the perfect test case to see if evolution is true or not?  Or would PETA have a problem because we were testing the evolution theory on live animals?

I Can’t Believe I Read This

Lindsay Lohan says some pretty dumb things at times.  Then again, so does Cleveland Browns coach Romeo Crennel.

No, don’t worry, you won’t see the two of them paired in a blog ever again.  Well, unless….

So, which of them said the following:

“There’s a penalty for prejudice, and it’s not trivial.”

and

racism “might be enough to tip the election.”

Who do you think it was?

Give up?  Okay, you are right; it was neither of them.  I don’t think either of them are high enough on the Idiot-meter to say these statements.  No, you have to leave it up to a Political Scientist from Stanford.

Tell me you are surprised, and I will say that I don’t believe you.  You can read it here for yourself.

I know blacks at work who haven’t voted before, and they’re voting this go round.  Why?  Because one of their own – okay, one who is half of their own – is a candidate.  And I know they are not the only ones.  So why is it that racism only hurts Obama, but it doesn’t help him?

Crazy.  Only a Stanford PoliSci expert could understand it.

Sniderman (“Sniderman, does whatever a Snider can”), you are in idiot.  Since Obama’s only half-black, only three points deal with race.  (Snicker.)  I’ll attribute the other three points to his ideology.

Lost Among the Hostas and Weeds

Yesterday, my son was tossing a tennis ball against the garage door, attempting then to catch the ball in his mitt. This allows him to play while I’m close by working on something that needs to get done in the back yard. He’s gotten pretty good, but occasionally has that one throw that manages to scoot under the fence and travel towards the street, or that one throw that ends up in the hedges next to the driveway.

On this occasion, it was the latter, and it was on one of his first throws. I heard the requisite, “Oh, man!” from my son. It’s funny hearing that coming from the voice of an undersized six year old. But I digress. He did not watch the path of the ball, but knew it landed somewhere among the hostas and weeds growing in front of the hedges. He did not want to look for the ball. He gave a cursory review of the area, then wanted to declare the ball lost. I explained to him that, since he lost the ball, he had to find it.

I’d like to have the same talk with our executive and legislative leaders. Somewhere along the line, they were playing catch with the Constitution, and happened to lose it among the hostas (U.S. growth and progress of all sorts) and tall weeds (politics). Every four years, both parties give a cursory look around the area claiming to seek this lost Constitution; however, as soon as electioneering is over, both parties declare to each other that the ball, er, Constitution, is lost, even though they like to remind their constituents that they will be the party to find it.

Congress has contributed greatly to the current bank problems, thanks to their desire to turn being qualified for a bank loan into an issue of discrimination. Since Congress doesn’t know what to do, they are taking their ball and going home. Of course, you have to get down into the rubble to see that Congress has made the bed they lie in (especially Democrats, it seems – I guess they do know where their bread is buttered, eh?).

Not that I want Congress to fix this; rather, I’d like them to take their filthy paws off the whole mess.  Same with the president.  What is the opposite of an alchemist?  That’s what I declare our political leaders to be.  They win the Idiot of the Week Award.

And Josh Howard, you typify what is wrong with this presidential election.  You get runner up.

Fascinating!!!

Fascinate me!
Exhilarate me!
Invigorate me!
Captivate me!

Isn’t that how you feel after the latest rounds of politicians throwing semi-true jabs at the opposing political party; entertainers going whole hog for the black democrat male and decrying the white republican female; the media vetting the white republican female100x over yet not vetting the black democrat male – actually hiding his ties to radical socialists; the Christian political establishment acting all, well, like lemmings again; and the incumbents – yes, all of them – blaming everyone but themselves for the years worth of legislation that helped contribute to the ongoing mortgage crisis?

No?!?  What on earth have you been doing then?

It has consumed me, to the extent that my schedule allows me to consumed.  It almost made me forget about all of the following:

• My beloved Cleveland Indians being swept for the weekend – a Saturday double-header and a Sunday game – by the lowly Kansas City Royals.  When does next year start?
• My beloved Ohio State Buckeyes getting slaughtered in another big game, as the same cast of characters that lost their cool and proved themselves too slow in last year’s BCS game – it only takes a handful of them to make a team totally overmatched – did it again.  (But, man, I’d love to have Malcom Jenkins as a starting cornerback on my team!)
• The Cleveland Browns proving themselves absolutely inept.  If you didn’t notice, I did not use the adjective “beloved” to describe this motley crew.

No, I did not say Motley Crue.

It also didn’t make me forget about the Vince Young saga.  This guy was on top of the world at Texas, and in his first year with the Tennessee Titans.  What happened?

That’s easy.  Fans did what they do best.  They called talk shows.  They booed Young.  They ranted on blogs.

And how did Vince Young’s mom take it?  She told the world to leave her son alone.  I wish I had as many people uplifting my self-esteem as Young has had in his many years in sports.  Think of all the money I’d have…and how difficult it would be for me to overcome failure.   This is the American Idol reality, the no-score league aftermath, the patsi-fying of our utes (yes, I said “utes”).

Failure.  It’s not your fault, and the other person really isn’t better than you.  It’s all in your imagination.  You really are special.  No one is as good as you in anything.  And everyone really should bow down to you.

You are special.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask your therapist.

Then try to get a job that promotes based on merit, and get a grip.

That wasn’t too mean now, was it?

Drawn Like a Moth to a Light

Over the past year and a half, I finally got completely dissatisfied with the two big-box political parties. You can read my rants and musings at my old blog.

Let’s just say that I am amused at the, um, “stuff” that is passing for political discourse and politicking these days.

• Oprah, who is all about empowering women, won’t have Governor Sarah Palin on her show until after the presidential election, but had no problem stumping for Senator Barak Obama early in the primaries.
• Obama criticizes Palin’s lack of experience. That’s like the pot calling the kettle, let’s see now, rainbow.
• Women on the left – that is, liberal women – want Palin barefoot and pregnant. That doesn’t sound very progressive, does it?
• Media bias is so evident, even a liberal can notice it. Well, maybe not.

But, wait, there’s more!

• Disenfranchised conservative Republicans are flocking to the PaliMessiah, because she has a conservative background.
• Palin’s views on immigration are not well known. Remember, many conservatives had issues with John McCain because he wasn’t reaching out to his conservative base, and because he was pro-amnesty. So, half the problem still exists – maybe.
• Half of the Republican ticket is now as inexperienced in tenure (heck with the actual job responsibilities, the common American doesn’t care to understand the difference) as the Democratic ticket.

And we’re still roughly sixty days away from the election!

I avoided television and radio coverage of politics as much as I could since the primaries ended. Yet I find myself eerily fascinated by the current bout of lunacy spewed by both parties and their willing accomplices in the media – including the internet pundits.

It’s kind of like seeing that accident scene on the other side of the freeway, and needing to look even though you know you will be repulsed or sad for looking.

Nah, it’s not like that at all. Even though I look at the accident, I still made the choice to look. For me, the current goings on are more like a moth’s instinctive attraction to lights. I am just waiting to get burned. But until then:

• It’s been fun watching kind, peaceful, loving liberals libel and slander a woman. Remember in the olden days, when we were taught not to hit a woman – physically or figuratively? Hillary Clinton’s rival in her Senatorial election lost many brownie points for merely asking her to commit to a position in writing. The nerve of him! Yet it is okay for people to hit the girl (Palin), and subsequently drop-kick her into oblivion. Now, you can’t hit the black guy. I guess he doesn’t have the balls to stand up for himself.

• It’s been wild watching dissatisfied, conservative Republicans – you know, the ones that can’t understand Obama’s cult of personality – deign Palin the dual savior of the conservative movement and the Republican party. They complain that Obama’s mind-numbed robots will do anything he says, much like they would currently do anything for Palin.

• It’s been crazy listening to journalists forget how to recognize sarcasm when it doesn’t work to their benefit.

• It’s been routine watching politicians attack character instead of responding to the valid charges levied against them. After all, what does a community organizer do, and why is that position more relevant to “presidential experience” than Governor is? I still haven’t heard an answer.

• It’s been scary watching and listening to the media identify how someone living in a small town, attending a non-Ivy league college, and trying to raise a relatively normal family is automatically not qualified to run for political office.

• It’s been telling, having the race card played by the black candidate, and the sexism card played by the female VP candidate.

• It’s been weird, listening to the Democrat’s Presidential nominee compare himself to the Republican’s appointed Vice Presidential nominee. Something just doesn’t jive there.

Worst of all, the last two weeks of activity focused the whole political spotlight on the two big-box candidates. You can just about wipe out any chance of third party candidates getting any coverage by the media because they are now irrelevant.

I think I now know how Nero felt as he watched Rome burn.

This week’s Idiot of the Week award is a reverse class action award. It is given to all of the Democrat and Republican Party leadership, the big-box news organizations, the celebrity glitterati, and the internet pundits who are doing their damnedest to curtail independent thought, and turn this Presidential election into another “who do I hate less” competition.

Inflation in the Modern Era

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Is your blog getting the number of daily hits that you expect?

Are you writing great material that is going unnoticed?

Looking for a pick-me-up? A little blog stimulation? Some artificial growth that lasts beyond four hours? You know, Viagra for your blog?

I have the cure, and it doesn’t have all those crazy side-effects. Well, except for the one where you worry about the mindset of the people viewing your site. But, we live in America, and are only concerned with uninhibited growth (ask our mega-churches, truth be damned!) and popularity (ask our politicians, athletes, and entertainers). Substance is irrelevant; growth is king!

We will make this post all about the numbers. Let’s go for the gold! We’ll keep it cheap and dispensable. Follow my lead:

• Pick a topic that is somewhat relevant, such as the mindless viewing and reading habits of the American male. Or the dumbing down of communication of all types – especially in ads and speeches.
• Figure out a way to include the name of a cute, skinny, white female celebrity. But, wait! I want a story with integrity, with meaning, with…with…CONTEXT! So what? Then create a dumb, boring blog that no one reads. Pick celebrities that fit the story, or just put them (Jessica Simpson) where you want. It really (Christina Aguilera) does not matter all that much. Just ask Carrie Underwood. Or Fergie. It’s all about the children (Miley Cyrus), so do what you can! Pink doesn’t count, and neither does Rihanna.
• Rinse and repeat, about as often as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan make the news.

Hey, if politicians can convert meaningless drivel into millions of votes, why can’t name dropping (Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Nastia Luken) work for blogs?

It is inflation that I can believe in.

No skinny white chicks were hurt in the creating of this post.