Fantasy Leagues

It’s amazing how we Americans can take something very simple, contort it ten different ways, and make it new and fascinating.  Take football, for example.  You had the forward pass, followed by the spread, then the West Coast offense.  On defense, you went from the 4-3, to the 3-4 to the Cover 2, to whatever Bill Belichik could dream up next.

Not only did play improve, but safety did, too.  Cloth helmets gave way to real helmets with face guards.  Pads were introduced.  Then we added penalities to regulate the game and protect the players.

Not only are things more interesting for the athletes, but fans have devised new and more exciting ways to watch the game as well.  If we go to the game, we tailgate, and maybe end up at the bar afterwards.   At home, we have the huge plasma screen, and entertain our friends for twenty-something consecutive Sundays as though we could afford to party all the time.

Even the geeks have found ways to improve their participation and enjoyment in the game.  First, it was Strat-o-Matic, then fantasy leagues.  We not only followed our favorite team, but found reasons to follow the other thirty-one teams regardless of how good or bad they were.  We hold mock drafts.  We trade up and down in the draft.  We even join a second or third fantasy league if we can’t get enough.

Thanks to Roger Goodell and Jim Irsay, however, we’ve come to realize that one more component needs to be added to this fantasy league bonanza.  We missed it all this time.  Why?  Because we were selfish.  We wanted OUR team to win.  We wanted OUR players to do well.  We wanted to win our fantasy league championship.

How self-centered of us?  We were missing out on the most important part of professional football.

What is that, you say?

Political affiliation.

Yep, that’s right.  Starting next year, YoHoo Sports is upgrading its fantasy football leagues to include a “political beliefs” factor for each player.  Within each fantasy league, this “political beliefs” factor will be multiplied to a player’s (individual stats) or team’s (defense) fantasy stats to determine the true points earned by each fantasy team.  Say you have Big Ben on your team, and say he is conservative.  His political beliefs factor may read .2, meaning each point he earns during the game is only worth .2 the total points.  On the other hand, Chad Ochocinco’s 1.8 rating (highly liberal) would earn him more game points.

It’s a risk some fantasy team owners may be willing to take.  Sure, it makes it difficult for owners to select conservative players, but that’s not a problem.  As the fantasy league market starts to make an impact on the pro football level, owners and GM’s will quickly learn that it is wise for them not to select conservative athletes for their teams at all.  Everybody wins – the fans, the league, and the owners.  Everybody, of course, except for the exceptional conservative athletes.

The Poll That No One Will Commission

You won’t find this on Facebook, blogs (other than this one), or in the purview of any political polling organization.  Why?  That will be obvious as you read.

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Thank you for participating in the Never To Be Commissioned Survey.  Please answer all questions honestly.

General Information:

City:
State:
Date of Birth:
Race:

Questions:

Did you vote in the 2008 Presidential Election (circle one):   Yes   No
For whom did you cast your vote (circle one):   John McCain  Barack Obama  Other

If you voted for John McCain, why (pick one):
_____ His military service
_____ His political views
_____ His selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate

If you voted for Barack Obama, why (pick one):
_____ His experience as a community organizer
_____ His political views
_____ His selection of Joe Biden as his running mate

If you voted for Barack Obama (answer each question):
_____ Was this the first time you voted for a President?
_____ Will it be your last if another African-American is not nominated in your lifetime?

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Note:  this survey is based on actual personal experience, not on conspiracy.

Congress, Blessed Congress

We’re not all dummies.  Really, we’re not.  Congress, on the other hand, could learn a few things from the folk that elect them.  Really, they could.

But they are not.

Obviously, this isn’t news.  But what I find interesting is that more folks are recognizing and citing the differences between Republicans and conservatives (see the comment section of the link).  Questioning the weak-kneed Republicans.  Questioning the intent of Congress in general.  It’s good, but to which I say, “It’s about time!”

I’ve only been saying it in my shop since November:  FIRE THEM ALL!

Click on the pic to see all Blurt Shirts Revolution 2010 designs.  All other Blurt Shirts designs can be found here.  From there you can access the Obama and Politics and Government sections.

Travel Plans

I’d like to thank the idiots from the U.S. mainstream media, Mexico, the CDC and the WHO for causing thousands of travelers to postpone or cancel their trips to the Yucatan peninsula this week and next.

As one of those travelers who was going to vacation in Cancun this week, I watched local blogs, and touched base with a friend who lives south of Cancun.  Zero reports of the swine flu (I refuse to use Janet Napolitano’s term for it) in that area. Yet, because of press releases and news conferences, many countries and companies chose to cease or drastically reduce travel to Mexico.

For all the diligence these yahoos did on the disease itself, they didn’t do any diligence on logisitics – travel patterns, personal behaviors, activities conducted by those diagnosed with the illness, etc.  Now, Cancun is a virtual ghost town, hoping to open up again later this week.

In reality, it never needed to close.  Fear works better than fact.  Ugh!

So, while we hope and pray that the Yucatan’s economy can rebound, my family will be vacationing for one day less and $1,000 more in the Bahamas.

I hate the media, and the governmental agencies that profess to be for the people.  Idiots!

A Rose By Any Other Name

Using acronyms is all the rage in contemporary America.  Along with the tried and true RADAR, SONAR, SNAFU and FUBAR, a new one cropped up and gained popularity within the last several federal election cycles:  RINO.

If you haven’t heard this term, let me give it to you straight:  A RINO is a “Republican in Name Only”.  Much of the Republican party leadership at the federal and state levels fall headlong into this category.  To steal a line used by many politically astute voters, and also by many orthodox Christians, they did not leave their party (or their church), their party left them.

Which brings me to Sr. Arlen Specter.  Arlen is a distinguished RINO, and has been for many years.  He is still a distinguished RINO, but is now called by his true name:  Democrat.

“So, what’s the big deal?” you may ask.  In essence, you are correct that it is not a big deal.  Specter was finally honest with his constituents and the nation.  This is the Senator who ran for office with President George Bush’s backing – not that Bush was a true-blooded conservative – and that a mere month ago, indicated he had many importantant things to do as a Republican.  So much for that.

The true significance of Specter’s non-newsworthy announcement will be lost on many in the voting public.  Libs will see it as their chance to push anything through the Senate that they want, seeing that they are now only one spineless RINO away from having a filibuster-proof majority.  Republicans will see it as a lost seat – a colleague that was their pal, their buddy, and a really great friend, swallowed whole by the evil Democratic Empire.  (Wow…even I don’t believe that one.  But that will be the spin.)  Conservatives will see it as a chance to elect one of their own.  But, if they are smart, and read what I wrote above, they will recognize that that individual will not come from the Republican Party.

The true significance lies in Specter’s own words:

• “I have found myself increasingly at odds with the Republican Party”
• He was “not prepared to have that record” obliterated by the conservative primary electorate.
• Regarding President Obama, “He said he would support me, come to Pennsylvania to campaign for me….”

Add this into the recipe, and you get the entree:

Flanked by GOP colleagues who stared straight ahead, McConnell said Specter visited him in his Senate office late yesterday afternoon “and told me quite candidly that he’d been informed by his pollster that it would be impossible for him to be reelected in Pennsylvania as a Republican because he could not win the primary; and he was also informed by his pollster that he could not get elected as an independent, and indicated that he had decided to become a Democrat.”

So that’s the product:  power.  Plain and simple.  Specter wants to remain in power.   Is self-preservation bad in its own right?  No.  Was he elected to inherit a lifelong position, earning $179,000/yr, being 100% vested at 100% of his salary the minute he retires from the Senate, setting his own raises, having a private pension plan, not paying into Social Security or Medicare, likely not paying federal taxes, and having people give him hundreds of thousands of dollars to maintain that power?  No!  He was elected to serve his people.  All of them, regardless of party.  He has decided that keeping his perks is more important that staying principled.

What the bozos who diss the Tea Parties fail to understand is this simple, poignant observation:  the U.S. has a ruling class.  Thinly veiled in his honest words, Specter admits that.  He could not see himself voted out of office, so had to preserve his position the only way possible, and that is by riding on Obama’s coattails.

I have a new acronym that fits the attitude of most Americans today.  You’ve heard it, and now you see it applied to a “leader” in the U.S. Senate: POLR – Path of Least Resistance.  It’s easier to stay in power than to lose your position and become one with the common folk again.  And it’s easier to do that by switching parties and catching someone’s tailwind than to actually stand up for something.

RINO politicians do the same thing.  Instead of standing on principle – which is hard (sniff, whimper) – they somewhat oppose Democrats.  However, they realize that by being more like Democrats, the believe they have a chance of staying in power.  They keep their friends close and their enemies closer, which is why they keep the “R” in front of their name.

Senator Specter, you said the Republican Party left you.  You said it moved right, as many of your RINO friends also say.  That’s false!  How can the party that allowed you to lead it leave you?  Silly man.  Idiot!

Wardrobe Malfunction

This article is just way too funny.  If you are responsible for manufacturing your teammates’ jerseys, maybe you should learn how to spell.  Or at least proofread.  Hah!

Stay Classy!

If you haven’t heard about the Miss America non-fiasco yet, read here.   If you want to read about intolerance masked as politically-correct groupthink, read here.

Between the question, which may or may not have been planted, the manufactured disdain at the contestant’s honest answer, and the retracted apology of the idiot whose name I won’t even mention (or use in my tags), I am flabbergasted.

Okay,  not really.  Of course you could see this coming.  That is, if you looked at the situation objectively, without the lens of political correctness.

You see, it’s no longer about being the “most qualified”, even if this was a beauty pageant.  It’s now the most qualified politically appropriate candidate that wins.

Don’t believe me?  Would Green Day’s American Idiot project been released had a Democrat been President?  Would they have even produced the project?  How about The Offspring’s Hammerhead?  Why wouldn’t some media outlets even review An American Carol?  Was it not a movie?  Were these not movie critics?  But they’d review Hairspray, and Harold and Kumar act like idiots…again, and any other mush-for-brains movie that came along.

The definition for “qualified” has changed.  Politics infiltrates everything.  It infiltrates religion, which can only bring religion down.  It infiltrates academia, and turns academia into the biggest intellectual joke this side of – um, er, the Potomac.  It infiltrates entertainment, because that’s the only way anyone will pay attention to it.

So an honest girl gives an honest answer and stands up for what she believes.  Sounds like a true American to me.  And she didn’t back down, much like Barry O backs down to each third world dictator.  Good for her.  Bad for the media for forgetting that the First Amendment applies to everyone.  Way to stay classy, idiots!

Rooting for the Home Team

For all the lunacy and craziness that has come with Cleveland’s decades’ long championship dearth, this year they really have a chance to do something.  Being the homer that I am (see my About page, which explains where this all started), I am fully qualifying my support for the Cleveland Cavaliers.  No idiots here!

Reverse the Curse

Help Wanted

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Are you unemployed, but willing to take a risk in order to dramatically increase your income?  How would you like to earn a solid $170,000 per year, and pay no federal taxes, Medicare or Social Security taxes?  And how about a pension that pays you your full salary, year after year, after you are vested?

Sound too easy?  Really, it’s not a get rich quick scheme.  It takes work.

Can you:

• Ask people to give you money?
• Convince people that they need you, and that their “investment” in you will make them feel good?
• Sound as though you are a subject matter expert on topics varying from education, to defense, to the Constitution, even if you know nothing at all about them?
• Become righteously indignant at the drop of a hat, even if you agree with the statement being made?
• Call people names, ignore them, and belittle them, even though you are ignorant on the subjects they address?
• Pose for cameras, smile, and speak only in rehearsed, five-to-ten word responses?

Are you at least twenty-five years old and a citizen of the United States?  Then this job opportunity is available to you.

No experience is needed to qualify for this position.  Just the desire to succeed, flexibility with your principles, and disregard for the social norms firmly established over two centuries.

Interested?  Call 1-888-264-7377 to learn more about this great opportunity.  Operators are standing by to take your information and hook you up with a representative in your area.

We wish you luck and riches in your new endeavor.

Lucifer Recruiting, LLC

Democrats preferred, RINOs and Muslims accepted.  Christians, Conservatives, Constitutionalists, and Libertarians need not apply.

Big & Ugly vs. Big & Ugly

What happens when Too Big To Fail meets Too Black To Fail?

Easy.  We, the voting class, lose.  Big time.

I have often heard that many of the Dems have a significant portion of their personal investments in the big financial corporations. Well, then, wouldn’t it make sense to move those investments?  No, they’d rather prop up risky, failing banks and destroy the American economy.  And they think pure socialism is going to make for a happy America?  Think again.

These aren’t your run of the mill idiots running our country.  They are royal idiots, because they think they are royalty.  Truthfully, they are more selfish than the conservatives on whom they project.